lack of self content

i have become increasingly aware of my situation which i hate so much. So to push myself out of this relaxed state I am applying for the FJC transfer program. i feel i am being hypocritical, since i can distinctly remembering more than once saying someone should have the will power to push themselves even if there is no real need to. Sadly i must conciede defeat to my own hypocrasy and see if i can leave. dont get me wrong, i love my friends, but i hate these people who say they are my friends, but i believe 3 months away will help me so. not only that, but it would be to london, and if you know me then you know how much i want to go. so wish me luck.